My first real post in Life After High School was going to be about college. I have (partially) written out a quick college “how to” and brief overview of the first steps for anyone who is wondering what in the world to do. But I didn’t finish that blog, I didn’t even want to. It will come out eventually, it's fairly boring and instructional, but I guess a necessary blog because many people need to know those steps.
I considered just finishing the College 101 blog for today, but I couldn’t get this thought out of my head:
just be real.
What’s pressing to me most now is what even more people need to know, about the in between.
The last couple weeks I’ve felt all of empty, exhausted, lost, and overwhelmed. Trying to fix this in my head, I can’t pin point what the real problem is, which causes me more anxiety because I have no control. I mentioned this to my aunt at church a few days ago, asking for prayer. She said that more people probably struggle with this feeling than they admit; around the ages of 18-21 are hard, they are full of different phases and feelings, waves of new to deal with.
Not long after that I had a conversation with my friend, I said that I felt like a bad person. I love Jesus with my whole heart and my point of life is to serve Him, but why do I feel so lost in life? Why do I feel like there is no point, like this is all there is to life? I just go to school, graduate, get a job, and live until I die? I want to tell people about hope, but sometimes it feels like there is no point.
She said she felt exactly the same way; it’s overwhelming and depressing, she doesn’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.
When my friend sympathized that she’s been going through this too, and my aunt claimed if people really admitted it, they would say they have felt the same, I wondered:
Why don’t we admit it?
Why don’t we admit that it feels like we have moved back five years and know nothing, like there is a whole new world right after you finally got adjusted to your old one? Why are we so afraid to say that life is hard and sometimes we are confused, lost, and overwhelmed?
That’s what I wanted this blog post to be. I’m not offering much advice or wisdom, I’m being authentic and real:
The in between is hard, sometimes the future seems even harder, it can feel pointless, even when you know there is a point. Maybe you’ve never felt like this, maybe you’re not in that age group but you feel like this, or maybe none of the above; wherever you’re at, I want you to know you aren’t alone.
So… What do you do? I’m not sure.
What do I do?
I keep doing my 15 minutes of reading, I hold close to the people in my life, I hold closer to Jesus in the storm, I try to help people and make their lives a little easier because I’m not the only one struggling.
I talk about it, I try to love a little more, learn a little more, and lean in to my purpose.
What do I do?
I keep going.
Grace and peace,
Evelyn
You can share images?! 😱